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His financial investment assuages his guilt that he can’t emotionally invest.Given that I didn’t want a committed relationship, it made sense to me.It was only after I spent an evening comforting a friend who had been dumped by a casual boyfriend (he had strung her along pretending he wanted more commitment than he really intended) that it dawned on me that paying to go on a date was a more honest way to conduct a non‑committal relationship.Receiving money or gifts from your date is his way of saying “I like you, I want to spend time with you, I want to sleep with you, but I’m not prepared to meet your family or go to Ikea with you on a weekend”.A French man invited me to dinner and offered to give me £500 for my time.“To prove I am a real gentleman, I will not expect anything more than dinner,” he wrote.

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He was a hedge-fund manager in the City and physically attractive, but a ski trip to Colorado put me off him for good.

The thrill of a date with an older, wiser, higher-flying executive had faded.

The allowances and gifts, which were once a happy bonus of my adventures, had become my main motivation.

But after three years on these dating sites, I stopped.

I realised that my motivations had slowly shifted to monetary gain.

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