Dating when you are forty

If you haven’t already done so, you may want to have a “sit-down” (Sopranos-style, if necessary) that leaves nothing open to interpretation.

Or, if there are good reasons that you just can’t or don’t want to even be in the same room with this person, then you could write a letter.

Don’t sink to his or her level, and don’t get caught up in any one-upmanship.

Some people, for instance, will do all they can to push your buttons and get you riled, knowing that when you get upset, you’re more likely to interact with them.

Instead, remain the mature one and refuse to be drawn into the mudslinging and game playing.

Draw a firm boundary that prevents your ex from being present in the conversations and interactions you have with people you’re now meeting and going out with.When an ex refuses to exit, what it all comes down to is boundaries.You have to set clear and firm boundaries, and you have to let the person know that the relationship is absolutely and unconditionally over.The point is, you need to confirm that the relationship is definitely over and that the person’s intrusions into your life are completely unwelcome.Physical Boundaries If you have already clearly communicated that the relationship is over, and your ex is still hounding you and intruding in your life, then do all that you can to sever whatever ties still connect you two.

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