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If you, like many parents, have an adult child living at home with you, you’re not alone.
There’s an epidemic of young adults in our society who are struggling to find their way.
In many families, this works out finethe adult child is responsible and contributes to the household while they take some time to find their way (whether it’s for economic reasons or something else) before going out on their own.
But if your adult child has moved home In part 2 of their series on adult children, Kim Abraham and Marney Studaker-Cordner explain why some kids choose to stay home instead of launching into the world. and substance abuse, and have worked with families for decades to help them resolve difficult issues.
An adult child can actually make a career out of earning income from his parents by working the emotional system. Slug has been living at home for the past few years because he can’t find a job.
They will visit the Parent ATM (PATM) frequently, using whatever emotional PIN number they’ve learned works to spit that money out of the cash slot. Part of the problem is he won’t leave the house to put in any job applications.
He looks online sometimes, but never follows through by calling a potential employer.
He sleeps until the early afternoon, lays on the couch, eats his parents’ food and smokes all day—sometimes cigarettes; sometimes marijuana.
There’s also cigarettes, make-up, movies to rent, games to play, cell phone and internet service. Where does the money come from when there’s no employment? Getting the parent to provide the money for these things becomes that adult child’s full time job. He’s broken multiple leases, which his parents had to pay for as co-signers.Couples, in love, want to share the bond of having a child and the joy they picture of becoming a family.Married couples with strong spiritual or religious beliefs may see having a child as part of God’s plan or as a spiritual experience to be shared as man and wife.Some of us have more than one emotional button that our child learns to push over the years; if we don’t become aware of these buttons, they will continue to work for our child into their own adulthood.Many adult children who are having difficulty “launching” have learned to rely on one or both parents as their source of financial support.