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When you’re in a relationship the rules of full disclosure aren’t as clear. Another sage demanded that you be totally honest and simply praise something else about her that you honestly believe.
Am I saying that lying to a spouse or dating partner is ok? For example, you might praise the bride’s gown or her personality instead of her beauty to avoid lying.
Obviously, by following the latter opinion you probably will make her feel bad, but you won’t be lying.
The first sage’s opinion ended up winning the Talmudic debate.
In all cases, the lie is to protect someone from embarrassment or loss.
I think we can all agree that when your wife asks you if she looks fat in what she’s wearing, you should NEVER say yes even if it’s the God honest truth.
Your financial situation won’t improve, but I can assure you that your relationship will suffer.
However, in your desire to make her feel good you might actually be harming her by letting her believe that she looks good when she really doesn’t and exposing her to nasty comments and ridicule.
The right thing to do is to suggest something else that you think will be more flattering for her.
Why is this person asking you this specific question? If your partner can’t accept you, regardless of what you did in the past, then he or she is probably not the person you want to spend your life with.
If it’s because she heard a rumor or has suspicions, then I think you might want to bring it into the open and come clean.