Online dating women too picky
Life has a way of delivering the same outcomes by different routes.
Lori Gottlieb created quite a controversy when she urged 30 something women who had not “found Mr Right” to “settle for Mr Good Enough” in an Atlantic article in 2008. expect that we can have it all: a best friend, co-manager of the household, entertaining playmate and passionate lover.
Sorry, ladies, but you probably can’t have it all — at least when it comes to love. 1 on the list of female neuroses women should ditch is their obsessive need to marry a guy who is richer, better-educated, higher in status or at least equivalent in these departments.
After all, how feminist is it to crave inferiority to your man?
But there are also the critics who suggest women have just got too picky, with a “check list” for Mr Right that includes “earns more than me, good family, good health, sense of humour, sexy, over six foot, likes to travel . A recent American book, Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game concluded that not only is there now a “man deficit” of college-educated men (in America women graduates outnumber men 4/3), but millions of non-college educated men will be considered “unsuitable” by increasingly sniffy women.
The practice of women holding out for this sometimes-mythical Prince has been given a term by social psychologists: hypergamy, the centuries-old tradition where women “marry-up” the social ladder to better themselves.
‘Evolution creates a diversity in our acceptance of risk, so you see some people who are more likely to take bigger risks than others.
“Women are likely to be more selective about their relationship partners to avoid costly impregnation by low-quality mates, [so they] should perceive more – or have lower tolerance for – deal-breakers.” Scientists suggest the “deal breakers” help both men and women sort out those who are unlikely to make the cut. etc etc” Man Drought Changes Things With a man drought in the marriageable decades evident in many industrialised countries including Australia (where the ratio of single women to single men, says demographer Bernard Salt, is roughly 16:1) can women afford to be so demanding?Moreover, dating is a numbers game, and the numbers are not in your favor.These days, roughly 57 percent of undergraduates are female, so let’s round it off and say it’s 60 (straight) girls with degrees for every 40 (straight) guys. True, blue-collar guys are not automatically interesting — but did you ever attempt to talk to a securities lawyer?It was the fourth most commented on article the magazine had ever published. It’s so much better to be pleasantly surprised with realistic expectations than to be disappointed with lofty ones.’ We Can’t Have It All, All Of The Time She says many women dream of a marriage where “We . In truth, we can have some of these things, some of the time, but to have all of them all of the time is impossible.” Building successful relationships means understanding the fantasy of Mr Right is not going to be some magic door to the perfect life, Gottlieb argues, so it may be better to settle for Mr Good Enough and understand compromise and hard work are needed to build a strong marriage.Now a single Mum in her 40s, via a sperm donor, she has published Marry Him: The Case For Settling for Mr Good Enougharguing that women in this generation have built a fantasy around the idea of marriage that doesn’t live up to real life.